I have been 60 years in the making, though not in the living. It is only the last 15 of those years where I discovered what life is supposed to be about and start to experience life as fully as possible.
Some of us are born happy and consequently evolve less because the impetus is not there to change who we are, where we are, what we believe about the world and about ourselves. I am fortunate to be one of those lucky people who are not happy with their life.
This gives me an advantage, because the deep connection I have with spirit gives me a compulsion and craving to find myself, the real me, in the noise given off by other people who all want something different to me. The drive to transform has increased and prospered over the last decade or so, and this has led me to discover things about myself that I could not have found in any other way.
Self-awareness is the secret, but this it seems, can only come through a struggle which asks us to shed our self-manufactured crust cemented around us over long periods of anger, grief and distress, and that ubiquitous search for parental approval; always a difficult task.
We are all in this life, this mortal coil, for one thing. And this is to discover who and what we are and to recreate this in every moment we have. The past tempts us into making the same mistakes again. The present confuses us, paralysing us into procrastination. And the future frightens us into thinking that the events of our past will forever repeat.
Most of my life was about controlling others. Sometimes I did this so heavily that I am surprised they stayed with me for the years they did. It was all because I didn’t want to look within at those situations and events I had experienced and had gone to so much trouble to hide away in the deep crevices of my mind. The anger and rage I felt was treacherous when those events were prompted to rise to the surface. I didn’t know how to deal with anger and rage as I had never been shown how to express it effectively. Anger was something our family didn’t do.
Being willing to look at my demons saved me from a hell on earth. Being willing to study intently the void at the centre of my soul helped me to discover who I am. The consequence is that people now see the real me rather than the mask I manufactured and carried around for decades.
My aspiration for the coming years of the 21st Century and beyond is that everyone discovers ways to help the people they meet to become the best they can be. To be fulfilled as a human being is a vital step towards a society that cares much more about helping each other and much less about the acquisition of personal wealth.